***Cross posted from my fetlife page***
So i know I’ve been kind of lax on my posting lately, due to a few personal stresses, and also to pursuing and enjoying my relationship. Well, you all had your rest and I’m back! I’m not going to go into everything that’s been happening lately, I’ve already mentioned Mr R and I’s business ventures in my profile and we’ve been doing a lot of that. Instead I’m going to talk about the weekend past.
WARNING: There may be soppiness, love, lust, sex and stuffs!
Now a little refresher to how I felt a few months ago. When I first got involved in anything BDSM it was online originally. I spent a lot of time arguing the in’s and out’s of things, asking folk questions they couldn’t answer, or blankly refused to see anyway other than their own. Now I will readily admit I can be a stubborn madam, but the rigidity of some folks views on things like sub vs slave, whether I can love and have D/s, have a family and have D/s, and many other things really did put me off. The way I view it, and still do, is that its another form of relationship, no different to any relationship. This is because I think no relationship is ever perfectly equally balanced powerwise.
Anyway I’m getting carried away and arguing with myself. Where I was meaning to lead was to the fact I was wholly against the idea of being collared (Not against others being collared, just me). I viewed it as a bit cheesy and unnecessary. Of course I am allowed my own opinion on such things, but I am always open to having my perceptions changed.
My relationship with Mr Robinson (or Mr R as I commonly refer to him) is my first where there have been D/s elements involved. It has taken a little adjusting for us to get the balance between lovers, friends, business partners, and D/s but I think we have got things at a good level! I always said to him I didn’t want a collar. Through everything, and through seeing the exchanges and what collars mean to friends, I finally feel like I understand them more. We spoke about it, about what it means to each of us… and we decided it was right for us.
Now some people have it at events, or after a rigorous ‘training’ period, or in front of all their kinky cohorts. I didn’t want all that. Despite my openness, I am a very shy girl (I know crazy huh?). How did it happen? With me stripped naked, kneeling in a hotel room, looking up at him, sweeping my hair off my neck as he fixes, and locks the collar in place. It couldn’t have been more perfect. It’s a moment I will never forget.
Sir looked at getting me a shiny pretty collar, but after discussing it, we realised a slightly marked, unpolished, slave collar was exactly right for us. I love my collar, I love my partner, and I love being his slut/pet.
Anyway on to the more deviant of things, Friday night was my night, and I’m not going to go into great detail as to what I had planned for my first night serving as his collared slut. It involved pampering, playing, teasing, and being taken. Was a wonderful night, and one of the highlights for me was surprising him with kneeling at his feet and giving a foot massage, to see the pleasure in his face for something so simple to do. It made my night.
I will however say, two folk in a little shower where the knob dealy is at elbow height is NOT a good idea… after finally getting it at the right setting I turned to get the shampoo, bashed the knob and scorched us both! With 2 in the shower there’s not much places to get out of the way!
Saturday saw us doing a photoshoot which I was actually more nervous about than any other shoot I think I’ve been on. It was just us, in the room but I was so worried about disappointing I was literally like I can’t do this, I suck! Thankfully he told me I was being silly and got some pictures I really love. Thank you Mr R!
Saturday night brought us an intense night together. It still amazes me how someone can be so sadistic, so brutal, so wonderfully depraved, hurt me and speak to me like the worst little whore on the earth, yet make me always feel loved and wanted. I am constantly in awe of my man. He has this voice that when whispered into my ear sets my groin alight, it deepens into almost a growls, seductive and dangerous. The things he says I will not mention for fear of blushing so much I melt the laptop, but I can tell you that his voice, his words capture and enthral me.
I was whipped hard, hogtied, chained to the bed by my collar, had profanities scrawled across my forehead, used, abused, humiliated. Afterwards? I felt even closer to him. I don’t think I’ll ever understand what it is BDSM does for me, it seems crazy, but it’s so right for me.
Anyway I should stop rambling, but want to say, to all you out there who have been told BDSM and love cannot be mixed; ‘tis absolute bollocks! From my experiences sharing those most intimate, soul baring times with someone I love is the only thing that has fulfilled what I crave.
Thank you my love for choosing me. And thank you all for reading, it’s you who all make my blog a pleasure.
Dolly
Xx
Pics from the weekend
