Taken, Collared, Used

***Cross posted from my fetlife page***

 

So i know I’ve been kind of lax on my posting lately, due to a few personal stresses, and also to pursuing and enjoying my relationship. Well, you all had your rest and I’m back! I’m not going to go into everything that’s been happening lately, I’ve already mentioned Mr R and I’s business ventures in my profile and we’ve been doing a lot of that. Instead I’m going to talk about the weekend past.

WARNING: There may be soppiness, love, lust, sex and stuffs!

Now a little refresher to how I felt a few months ago. When I first got involved in anything BDSM it was online originally. I spent a lot of time arguing the in’s and out’s of things, asking folk questions they couldn’t answer, or blankly refused to see anyway other than their own. Now I will readily admit I can be a stubborn madam, but the rigidity of some folks views on things like sub vs slave, whether I can love and have D/s, have a family and have D/s, and many other things really did put me off. The way I view it, and still do, is that its another form of relationship, no different to any relationship. This is because I think no relationship is ever perfectly equally balanced powerwise.

Anyway I’m getting carried away and arguing with myself. Where I was meaning to lead was to the fact I was wholly against the idea of being collared (Not against others being collared, just me). I viewed it as a bit cheesy and unnecessary. Of course I am allowed my own opinion on such things, but I am always open to having my perceptions changed.

My relationship with Mr Robinson (or Mr R as I commonly refer to him) is my first where there have been D/s elements involved. It has taken a little adjusting for us to get the balance between lovers, friends, business partners, and D/s but I think we have got things at a good level! I always said to him I didn’t want a collar. Through everything, and through seeing the exchanges and what collars mean to friends, I finally feel like I understand them more. We spoke about it, about what it means to each of us… and we decided it was right for us.

Now some people have it at events, or after a rigorous ‘training’ period, or in front of all their kinky cohorts. I didn’t want all that. Despite my openness, I am a very shy girl (I know crazy huh?). How did it happen? With me stripped naked, kneeling in a hotel room, looking up at him, sweeping my hair off my neck as he fixes, and locks the collar in place. It couldn’t have been more perfect. It’s a moment I will never forget.

Sir looked at getting me a shiny pretty collar, but after discussing it, we realised a slightly marked, unpolished, slave collar was exactly right for us. I love my collar, I love my partner, and I love being his slut/pet.

Anyway on to the more deviant of things, Friday night was my night, and I’m not going to go into great detail as to what I had planned for my first night serving as his collared slut. It involved pampering, playing, teasing, and being taken. Was a wonderful night, and one of the highlights for me was surprising him with kneeling at his feet and giving a foot massage, to see the pleasure in his face for something so simple to do. It made my night.

I will however say, two folk in a little shower where the knob dealy is at elbow height is NOT a good idea… after finally getting it at the right setting I turned to get the shampoo, bashed the knob and scorched us both! With 2 in the shower there’s not much places to get out of the way!

Saturday saw us doing a photoshoot which I was actually more nervous about than any other shoot I think I’ve been on. It was just us, in the room but I was so worried about disappointing I was literally like I can’t do this, I suck! Thankfully he told me I was being silly and got some pictures I really love. Thank you Mr R!

Saturday night brought us an intense night together. It still amazes me how someone can be so sadistic, so brutal, so wonderfully depraved, hurt me and speak to me like the worst little whore on the earth, yet make me always feel loved and wanted. I am constantly in awe of my man. He has this voice that when whispered into my ear sets my groin alight, it deepens into almost a growls, seductive and dangerous. The things he says I will not mention for fear of blushing so much I melt the laptop, but I can tell you that his voice, his words capture and enthral me.

I was whipped hard, hogtied, chained to the bed by my collar, had profanities scrawled across my forehead, used, abused, humiliated. Afterwards? I felt even closer to him. I don’t think I’ll ever understand what it is BDSM does for me, it seems crazy, but it’s so right for me.

Anyway I should stop rambling, but want to say, to all you out there who have been told BDSM and love cannot be mixed; ‘tis absolute bollocks! From my experiences sharing those most intimate, soul baring times with someone I love is the only thing that has fulfilled what I crave.

Thank you my love for choosing me. And thank you all for reading, it’s you who all make my blog a pleasure.

Dolly

Xx

Pics from the weekend

Shooting, loving, playing

Okay so its been a little while since I’ve posted, thats because I have been a busy little lady!

Firstly I met a man, he’s a lovely man, and also the one who administered the punishment I talk of in my other post. When we met we didn’t really expect anything to come of it, neither of us were looking for a full on relationship, but it was one of those things. I was swept off my feet and he was taken as much by surprise! It is the closest thing I could imagine to ‘love at first sight’ which albeit was something I didn’t believe in.

Things are not easy, I live in Glasgow, and he in Bristol. Sometimes I think the turns my life takes is like a book, a crazy, depraved book, but a book no less! So things aren’t ideal, but the meeting each other on the platform thing is kinda romantic

Things are good.

Secondly we have started filming some clips last weekend for our clips4sale site http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/30647 with Clover, Jess, Myself and Mr Robinson. Feel free to check it out. It’s slave based clips, with a lot of whipping, petplay, and humiliation

Dolly

the look…

What’s in a look?

Why is it that one look from a mother can calm a tantruming child?

Why is it that one look from a teacher can quiet the idle gossip of a teenager?

Why is it one look from a handsome stranger can illicit a blush?

Why is it that look, that one deep, intense look from you can melt my insides and leave me on my knees in a puddle of longing?

How is it those very same eyes can inject such a shiver of fear through me as you ready me for the whip?

How can such bitter disappointment in my failing be shown so clearly with not a word, but through only an expression.

How can one person display so many unsaid things with not a word, not an action, but a gaze in my direction.

The look I love the most? The one that makes me feel like a Princess, a slut, cherished, lusted for, loved.

dolly

X

Punishment

As some of you may have noticed, I recently became not so single. This was a fairly big decision for me to make, but definitely the right one!

This writing is not about that particularly, but about my first ever punishment. It caught me quite by surprise in the way it made me feel, and I want to record that both for my benefit personally, and to share with my friends.

Now I first stumbled upon the BDSM scene actively (i.e. in person not through the net) in December 2008. I was with a ‘nilla man at the time that, despite being a wonderful person, was not right for me. I had this undeniable building craving to venture into my darker desirers, my deepening fetishes and unfortunately, he didn’t have the desire to do so.

I attended my first photo shoot; and had at an earlier date met the photographer and asked him if he would cane me. It had been a fantasy of mine for years, and though I was nervous that I’d discover it wasn’t for me, thus ruining the fantasies I went for it. I loved it. I loved the sharp whack at the rod met my flesh. I don’t think I’m a masochist, there is a lot of pain I hate, but I have an affinity with canes that passes the pain. Usually.

I have been caned in public, in play, on shoots, in videos but nothing prepared me for my first punishment. Why bring up the past? Well, because of course my love affair with the cane appears in this also.

I had been pushing, teasing, giving my usual cheek, which in itself was not enough to illicit an angry response. My cheek was taken very well, as usually it is in good humour and more teasing in nature than anything. Until I goaded one step too far, rubbing it in about another man. It was really meant in good jest, but sometimes I just ignore my STOP NOW DOLLY button.

We were in a room with a friend at the time, who though speaking on the net we had only met the previous day. I guess I thought I’d get off fairly easily because of that. I was wrong.

I was told to remove my uniform (yes I was wearing school uniform… that’s another story) and get completely naked. I looked over at the photographer friend wondering if he’d object, he didn’t. So slowly I stripped. Now nudity is something I’m not really embarrassed about, and the photographer had shot me naked and whipped earlier in the day, but I felt my cheeks redden as I turned my back and stripped off. Now I was nude in a room with two dressed men.

Sir told me to kneel on the couch with my arms over the back rest. Funnily enough I was worrying more about the couch tipping than the impending caning. See I thought so what I’ve been caned before, I like being caned, in fact, I love it. What’s to worry about right?

Wrong, because it was different.
He told me I was a slut, a whore, how disappointed with me he was. A week on the exact words I cannot find, but the feeling I remember vividly. I felt awful, truly freaking awful for upsetting him.

The cane strokes began, I lost count, and it wasn’t long before I was in tears. I often cry when I’m caned because it hurts, little girly tears. Again this was different. Sobs wracked my body, eyes streaming, snot dripping from my nose. I felt his anger, not in his strokes but in the way he was with me. It is the hardest I have ever been caned, whether that was due to the emotions associated, I don’t know.

I found it hard to stay still; I kept ducking down to put my bottom against my calves to stop the strokes getting to it. Each time I was dragged by the hair back up to my position before receiving another.

At last he stopped, knelt beside me and started to whisper in my ear. Again not the things I normally have whispered into my ear. The words hurt, cut through me like the cane would never do. I was crying, really crying. He never shouted, and never raised his voice, in some ways I wish he had, it would have been easier to take if he had been angry. His voice dripped with disappointment and distaste. I can’t stand people being disappointed in me.

He went back to his things and picked up a black cane. I am still unsure about what it’s made of, but I’m sure he can comment and tell you all if he feels like it. The strokes started again, biting into my bottom, flesh burning, aching. I thought it wouldn’t end. It did of course.

He left me there, bent exposed over the couch, sobbing my little heart out and regretting being a mouthy little madam like I’ve never regretted it before. The session, the punishment, was the most intense experience I’ve had. There felt like there was just this thick atmosphere in the room.

Eventually I got a hug and a kiss and told that it was over, I’d been forgiven. The relief was overwhelming, usually I wouldn’t have given a rat’s ass… and then I curled up in his lap and fell asleep.

So there you go, my first ever punishment and only caning that I’ve ever hated.

Dolly

X

Ah bugger…. (past shoot write up)

no not a write up about anal sex… I had done a write up of my week shooting with Painfiles, Shadowslaves, and Uk Flashers but I went and pressed the wrongbutton and it all got deleted! So bugger it I shall cover a highlight or two as well as my favourite scene of the week!

Highlight 1

Scene: Me being electrocuted with an electric fly swotter whilst restrained to a large frame.

Him: Where do you want it? Face, nipples, or c*nt? Your choice Dolly.

Me: thinks for a moment I choose NONE!

Zapppppp he chose the lady bits.

Highlight 2

Scene: I’m kneeling on the floor with nothing but knickers on… he touches the crotch of the pants…

Him: Whats this Dolly?

Me: My underwear…

Him: after giving me in trouble and attempting to make me say the c-word And are those the type of underwear a smart girl would wear?

Me: I don’t see what bearing my underwear has on my intelligence

Followed by much faceslapping for being a cheeky bitch.

Highlight 3

Scene: After just finishing tying up Pixie and then releasing her we mae DUCKY PORN… Don’t worry no animals were harmed during the making of the porn… it’s a yellow duck puppet. Was a lot of fun and he shall be apperaing on fetlife as soon as we can get the pics from the photographer. We think he’s going to be the next big fetish model.

Highlight 4

Getting to do pictures in a very large animal cage, whilst cuffed, with a magazine for a bed and a bowl of water… before having a dental cage fitted on the outside of the cage, attaching me to the bars by my mouth….

Favourite Scene

I touched a little on this during one of the highlights. Its was a TICKLING based humiliation scene. I crawled in in just my underwear and was pushed into a kneeling position facing the camera with Magick (the Dom) behind me. Now I won’t lie in saying I’m a relatively intelligent young lady, and he picked up on this and decided to play on it.

First he touched my panties right at the crotch and asked me what it was he was touching, being a cheeky little bint I answered that it was my panties, cue face slap. He asked what was under the pants… I answered flesh, wrong answer again… but I was in a cheeky mood.

Now anyone who knows me knows I don’t like the word c*nt, well i don’t mind others using it, or calling me it in scene, I just don’t like saying it, it’s not very lady like at all. Of course, people love to play on this. So he keeps going, hitting me, spitting on me and such like until eventually I say it’s my pussy. He relents at this.

He then brings me over a water bowl, telling me to take a drink and so I do, not being a stranger to the dog bowl. Alas it is not to be as simple as that… he decides to see if I can hold my breath. He grips my hair and dunks my head into the bowl holding me under until I begin to struggle, letting me up for a quick breath before redunking me. My hair is now soaked, and water is cascading and dripping down my chest and onto my thighs, makeup everywhere.

Magick had worked with me earlier in the week and knows I wriggle and struggle and fight. So as well as attaching my wrists up to the winch, my legs are spread and tied to the frame. Now I can’t fight… or so he thinks. A big black dildo is fed into my ladybits and he starts to fuck me slowly with it… He laughs as I can’t help but moan, telling me I can’t be that intelligent if my brain is overridden so easily by my pussy.

But it wasn’t about my pleasure, no no I wasn’t getting off that easily, he bagan to tickle me whilst fucking me with the dildo, the different feelings driving me mental. I wriggle and writhe on my ropes as I try to fight him off. Screaming and squealing and laughing and moaning al at the same time.

Of course my intelligence needs to be tested so whilst being tickled and fucked I need to complete a math quiz. It started off fairly easy, but I kept forgetting parts of the questions, was that multiply it by 3 then take ten, or multiply by ten then take three? I got on okay, despite the tickling, until I reached one sum, a fairly easy one but my brain would not work with everything else going on.

It was 1209 minus 224 divided by 5. Answer is 197 should be easy right? 1209 minus 224 is 985. 1000 divided by 5 is 200. 1000 minus 985 is 15. 15 divided by 5 is 3. 200 minus 3 is 197. Easy right? Not whilst I’m trying my hardest to concentrate with a soaking wet, invaded pussy and my sides, wrists and ankles aching from tickling and fighting restraints.

I got it eventually though, as well as the following questions and so was rather pleased with myself! Then he wanted me to look at the camera and say “I’m a c*nt with a brain” I blankly refused and when he started tickling me hard I couldn’t cope and lashed out with all I had, teeth and my arse. I managed to not only bite him but fling him back into the wall. I think by the end of it he was as knackered as I was. He then changed it to “I’m a c*nt with no brain” and Yes eventually I said it when he started pinching my swollen, wet, red ladybits really hard!

Of course there was some flogging and smacking too, but well yeah

Love Dolly

Xx

Breathless….

This was a little something I wrote for some special, I was reflecting on a play session that included some breath play. For those of you who aren’t sure about breath play, the way I do it with a partner is by having him cover my nose and mouth with a hand, I never use bags or implements. I always wrap a hand around his wrist so he knows that if I start to squeeze a lot I need to get air. Safety is important!

…

Fingers pressing over my lips, thumb and index pinching my nose… I look up at you, eyes trusting, but afraid as you take my breath from me.

Urgency fuels my fingers as they find the swollen folds of moist flesh, mind battling between orgasm and breathing. Arousal builds as my chest rises and falls, lungs beginning to burn as a wetness slickens my thighs.

My eyes stay locked onto yours, as you watch me fight orgasm, body craving to be brought over the edge, but confused at your stealing of the most basic of human functions.

A lightness begins to spread through me as lust wins through, orgasm ripping through me. I see your smile and you see my desperation before releasing your hand and letting me gulp down cool air.

Covered in a glistening sweat, I curl up into your lap as my breathing begins to calm…

God I love how you can take my breath away.

Websites, emails and stupid old phones!

Since arriving back from london yesterday, I have been working on advertising my site. Dear heavens what a palava! Linking I thought would be easy, but there are like wars for top spots…. if you don’t give me one of the top 3 then you can’t have a picture… yikes! Seems to be working well though

So just been catching up on emails, sending new ones, replying about video work, and getting my pro subbing on the go! Busy times in Dolly land…

Other than that just planning a paysite or two, one I’m helping Mr Robinson with, and one I’m thinking of doing too!!

Does the world really need more BDSM porn you ask… variety is the spice of life I say!

Other than that trying to get an old phone working, finally find the charger and get a new sim card, but whats this? a passcode? ohhh man! Oh well, looks like I’ll be getting a new pay as you go phone!

Dolly

X

A thrashing good time!

I’m on the train on the way from Preston to London after a day of shooting with Darkstudent (from fetlife), his submissive, and Mr Robinson. I must say I had a fantastic time, cuddles whips and chains a plenty.

We started off by me tying the other model up, was just fairly standard bondage, but we didn’t have an extensive amount of rope so couldn’t go as far with it as I’d have liked too!

Next up we did a shoot concerning bins… And socks! It was bizarre but I’ll upload a pic when I get one… They are really cute/funny pics

We did a few as a trio with Mr Robinson as Dom and us girlies as subs, lucky bugger huh :p I think we worked quite well as a three.

Next up came my whipping… Now I have never been whipped before so it was a very new experience for me. Bent over in the stocks, ankles and neck secured between planks of dark wood. My hands were too small for the stocks but I really had limited movement still…

It started not to bad, with a paddle, slowly bit surely reddening my ass. Then Mr Robinson went and got the whip… I was trying to think how to describe the feeling of the whip, all I could think of is that is a sharp, fast sting, followed by a slow spreading burn. My back, ass, thighs and soles of my feet were brought to a striped, red mess. I was brought to a sobbing, snotty, tearful wreck. I loved it.

Lastly I got to cover the other model in cream, chocolate sauce, sweets and candy floss! Woohoo splosh!

I have had a wonderful 2 days and would recommend working with any of the three people I shared the two days with.

Dolly

X x

Convolvulus Shoot with harper

I recently had a shoot with harper from http://convolvulus.net/.

On arranging it I was both excited about 7 hours or so in rope, but a little apprehensive, thats a long day of shooting! Both harper and his photographer assistant were lovely to work with and I had a great time!

I was tied up a number of different ways, whether restrictive upper body ties, full body ties, suspension or part suspension. Then of course I was challenged to escape! I think I only fully escaped one tie, but got one or two part off… Over all his ties were too well done for me to get out of though.

The suspension was only my third ever, and number 2 had not gone well for me, so harper took it easy on my and proceeded to suspend me on my front horizontally. Me, being me, wore a tartan dress and they dubbed me the flying scotswoman!

Over all a lovely man to work with who has a genuine passion for teaching and sharing bondage

Dolly Flies!Mmmm hair tie....

Here’s a little bit written from the man himself, harper says,

“Convolvulus started in 2004, inspired by an online friendship with a model working for another site. We started doing a few things together, and the ideas began to grow… We added the members’ paysite to the free site <www.convolvulus.eu> in 2006, and now I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of working with many wonderful amateur models as well as some of the best-known international names in the bondage modeling business. The theme of Convolvulus is “Real Bondage For Fun”, and we set out to show enjoyment of rope in a whole range of ways from body art to – well, this is where we like to let your imagination take over! We’ve got to where we are because of our models. Without them, a bondage site would be just a pile of rope. And we’re delighted to welcome Dolly to Convolvulus.”

Dolly

Xx

Let the blogging begin!

Okay so this is my first entry into my blog… of many I hope!

2009 has been a wonderful year so far, I have discovered bdsm, modelling, doing online video and dvd work, made a lot of wonderful friends and met many a character…

What I hope to put in my blogs will be my views on shoots and websites, past and present, my random thoughts on what I’m doing and general life stuff

I tend to yap on a lot, and am very honest about things. So I do hope you enjoy!

Dolly

Xx